The Nigel Marven Chronicles

primal fear

We have long been fans of nature documentaries and the like. They're kind of our jam. Several years ago we discovered that the rather fantastic Walking With Dinosaurs series had a sequel called Sea Monsters: A Walking With Dinosaurs Trilogy, starring a British chap named Nigel Marven. The general premise of Sea Monsters is that Nigel is a time traveler who has came to the past to investigate the (arbitrarily ranked) seven deadliest seas of the Earth's history. Rather straight forward, yeah?

Here's the thing: If you watch the documentary, it is immediately apparent that Nigel Marven when given a time machine has absolutely no interest in maintaining historical continuity or even showing the barest of respect for ancient wildlife. He throws animals around. He rips off their limbs. He constantly is leaving items everywhere that are just going to confuse paleontologists endlessly. He's kind of a dick!

Seizing upon this, I wrote up a little article pointing out Nigel Marven's crass idiocy for the Something Awful forums in 2012 that was ultimately goldmined. A couple years later in the fall of 2014, Chorocojo and I revisited the video again and came away with a new conclusion. Nigel wasn't an idiot: He was a fucking monster. Nigel Marven is destruction incarnate, he is history's ur-rogue. He is the Time Hitler.

Join us on our journey of discovery as we embark into the mind of the homina incognita that is Nigel Marven, constructing an ever more elaborate and implausible mythology along the way. These videos are devoid of any production values whatsoever, we're just shooting the shit.

"Nigel Marven you are the Worst Time Traveler" by Zorak

Sea Monsters: A Walking With Dinosaurs Trilogy
Episode 1: Dangerous Seas
Episode 2: Into the Jaws of Death
Episode 3: To Hell and Back

Chased by Dinosaurs
The Giant Claw